Monday, 8 February 2016

Chapter 7, 8, 9: Sons and Lovers

Sons and Lovers
Chapter 7:
After Paul starts to visit the farm, Miriam distant herself from him because she believes he will not like her, as her brothers do. We learn she is into religion, craves education and wants to rid herself of the farm title. After Paul visits one day, they starts to talk which led to the development of  a relationship between the two. They spend more time together and she expresses her need to learn so Paul teaches Miriam algebra. At home however, Paul paints, then shows them to Miriam. One day, Miriam shows Paul a rose bush and they become engrossed in each other; Paul leaves for home but wonders why his mother thinks lowly of Miriam. Because he stayed out late, Paul and his mother have a fight, but make up shortly. Paul and Miriam become closer and soon after, Miriam realizes that she is in love with Paul. Soon Paul realizes that he is falling in love with Miriam but denies it. On a trip they almost kiss. The morels who dislike Miriam becomes angered with her even further and even Paul turns his back on her.


Chapter 8:
Arthur gets a job, but one day Mrs. Morel gets news that Arthur joins the army. She wants to get him out but Paul is convinced that the army will benefit him. Meanwhile, Paul wins a prize for his painting. Paul is introduced to Clara Dawes by Miriam. She is separated from her husband, Baxter Dawes; Paul dislikes him. Paul gets promoted at his job while Annie is engaged. Paul begins teaching Miriam French and she writes a love letter to him. They almost kiss but Paul gets up to turn the now burning bread that his mother left him to watch. Mrs. Morel gets home angry for having to struggle home with the groceries and Annie and Mrs. Morel argue with Paul for paying so much attention to Miriam. When Paul makes a comment Mrs. Morel is hurt and she feels as if Miriam is replacing her but Paul disagrees. Mr. morel takes a piece of a pie to which he finds out it is not his so he throws it in the fire and Paul gets angry, then Mrs. Morel faints from the near fight. She eventually recovers.


Chapter 9:

The relationship between Paul and Miriam becomes strained with tension as he treats her coldly; finally he breaks off their relationship. However, Paul and Mrs. Morel continue to bond and their relationship is strengthened. Although Paul severs his ties with Miriam, he still visits the farm and hangs out with Edgar. Miriam, on Paul’s visit, re-introduces Clara once more and Paul is enthralled by her body. All the while when the three individuals are out, Paul’s attention is on Clara’s body. Annie gets married but afterwards, Paul promises his mother that he shall never get married. Eventually, Mrs. Morel buys Arthur out of the Army and soon after that he and Beatrice become a couple. Every time Paul and Miriam Hang out with Clara, Miriam feels hurt because all of Paul’s attention is always turned to Clara. Soon after, he writes Miriam a letter calling her a nun and they can never love each other physically.

Chapter 4, 5, 6: sons and lovers

Sons and Lovers

Chapter 4:
Paul becomes mature and sensitive which allowed Annie to become attached to him. He accidentally jumps on Annie’s doll and out of a weird vibe, he ‘sacrifices’ the doll by burning it; Annie who is terrified, keeps quite. Paul hates his father so much that he actually wishes death upon him for all the atrocious acts he carried out on his mother. The family affairs were completely kept from Walter because they did not see him fit for knowing about them, seeing as he was gambling and drunk all the time. In this chapter, Mrs. Moral did not think that Paul would live a long life because he had bronchitis; when he was sick, he was often found in bed with his mother.
            Even when William leaves for Nottingham and Mrs. Morel turns all her attention on Paul, the two brother become jealous of each other; yet they still remain close. Although it is a nerve wrecking ordeal to collect his father’s paycheck, Paul goes through with it because of the satisfaction of having his mother comfort him when he gets home. William comes to visit the family for five days in December and he bring gifts for everyone, but the cheerful mood quickly takes a three-sixty when he had to leave.


Chapter 5:
After a work accident throws Walter in the hospital, the family is without his presence for a while due to his fracture. They are at peace for a while until he recovers. Now fourteen, Paul is at the age for labour but he turns his attention toward more artistic means instead of mining. To his dismay, his mother asks him to search for a job in the newspaper. Meanwhile, William excels in both his social and private life; learning Latin and eventually becoming wrapped up in a girl. Paul brings along his mother as he is asked to attend an interview with Thomas Jordan, the owner of a surgical appliance factory. Although he becomes nervous, he gets the job; after which, he and his mother go out for dinner and shopping then return home. William sends a picture of Louisa Lily Denys Western but his mother doesn’t like her dress so he sends different one. After Paul starts working, his mother becomes extremely proud of him, but works, under Mr. Pappleworth’s supervision, in the dark second floor warehouse. He eventually befriends the workers at the factory. Every night he gives his mother his earnings and tells her of his day.


Chapter 6:
In this chapter we learn that Arthur grows into an impulsive, selfish, athletic, attractive boy and he slowly begins to hate his father who is always fighting with them. Annie becomes a junior teacher and soon after, she is expected to get a raise. Paul and his mother become attached to each other more than ever, meanwhile, William becomes engaged to Louisa; he even brings her home for Christmas to which she begins to act like a pampered princess. But she has been a secretary for the last year. Paul gets a raise at work so he and his mother go on a trip to a farm, to which Paul meets Miriam and the other siblings. When they are leaving, Mrs. Morel expresses that she would run the farm better if she was the owner. William comes to visit the family and Paul spends some time with them but, Louisa annoyed the whole family to the point where William confided in his mother; after she suggested that he may want to break the engagement, the mother and son have a fight. After William head back home, he visits once more and then shows his mother a rash that was believed to be made by the collar; after Mrs. Morel sends him off, she gets a telegram saying that William fell ill. She rushes to him only to find him in a retard state. He is diagnosed with pneumonia and a skin disease.

After William’s death, Mrs. Morel becomes distant to everyone, including Paul.  Paul then becomes ill and she takes care of him which cause her to cease her mourning. Mr. Morel feeling mournful, avoids the cemetery on his way to work.

Monday, 25 January 2016

Articles on Sons and lovers

Sons and Lovers: A Psychoanalytic Criticism
Psychoanalysis is a psychological approach that focuses on the concepts of Sigmund Freud and helps us to understand human behaviour. D.H. Lawrence’s Sons and Lovers (1913) is a text that cries out for a psychoanalytic interpretation. One of Freud’s most famous theories is the Oedipus complex, which deals with a child’s emerging sexuality. Freud used the story of Sophocles’ Oedipus Rex to help illustrate his theory. In the story, Oedipus unwittingly kills his father and marries his mother. According to Freud, all male children form an erotic attachment to their mother and are jealous of the relationship the father has with the mother. The male child fears he will be castrated by the father so he represses the sexual desire for the mother and waits for his own sexual experience. However, if the boy does not fulfil these steps, then he will carry the oedipal complex with him into adulthood (Dobie 52-53). As a result, having this complex makes it very difficult to form adult relationships with others. In other words, if the child never grows out of this type of behaviour, he will be dysfunctional in adulthood.

The Oedipus complex theory attracted attention in 1910 when psychoanalyst Ernest Jones published Hamlet and Oedipus. Freud had already applied his theory to literature, but this was the first time the Oedipus complex had been emphasised in a major literary work such as Hamlet. The character of Hamlet shows signs of having a repressed Oedipus complex in the relationship he has with his mother (Guerin 161-162). In Sons and Lovers, Gertrude Morel has a dysfunctional relationship with her two sons, William and Paul. Therefore, the text is conducive to this type of analysis because the Oedipus complex and other psychoanalytic concepts are displayed so vividly in their relationships. The beginning of the Oedipus complex appearing in William and Paul is exemplified in the relationship between the parents. The boys witness an abusive marriage in which Walter Morel often comes home drunk after squandering the family’s income gambling. All of this causes the boys to hate their father and be sympathetic and protective towards their mother.

In their mother, the children see someone who is good and pure. She, in turn, keeps her sons all to herself and sheltered from their father. By this act, Gertrude Morel is unconsciously molding her sons into what she wants, so eventually they can take the place of her husband. She is clearly unhappy in her marriage, so she tries to live vicariously through her sons. This is the stimulus that allows the oedipal attachment to form in the two boys. William is the oldest son and the mother’s favorite. He does everything he can to please her. Sibling rivalry exists between William and Paul as they compete for their mother’s affection. Mrs. Morel becomes jealous of William’s female companions and he eventually moves to London. William’s moving to London was his unconscious way of trying to break free from the oedipal attachment to his mother. In London, William meets a girl by the name of Lily. They become engaged but William is not happy. He has a misogynistic attitude towards her. It is very clear Lily does not possess the good qualities he sees in his mother and it angers and frustrates him.

William exhibits classic symptoms of displacement. When William voices his dissatisfaction with Lily, his mother asks him to reconsider marrying her. He responds, “Oh well, I’ve gone too far to break it off now (Lawrence 130). These conflicted feelings that William is experiencing are a sign of his apparent struggle to rid himself of the oedipal fixation and the reader is not surprised when William eventually gets sick and dies. After William dies, Paul takes his place as his mother’s favorite. By her actions, one would think she thought of him as a suitor. This is evident when she accepts a bottle of perfume spray from him. “Pretty!” she said in a curious tone, of a woman accepting a love-token (Lawrence 69). As Paul reaches adulthood, it is quite evident the Oedipus complex has taken him over. His relationship with his father is strained and he becomes jealous of him. He even asks his mother not to sleep with the father anymore (Lawrence 215).

Paul meets Miriam Leivers and although he likes her, he repeats the same misogynistic behavior as William did with Lily. He feels he would be betraying his mother by being with her. However, the idea that Paul is interested in someone other than his mother shows an attempt to break the oedipal fixation he has. But, the mother foils this attempt by making him feel guilty for wanting to be with Miriam. She says, “I can’t bear it. I could let another woman – but not her. She’d leave me no room, not a bit of room. And I’ve never – you know Paul -- I’ve never had a husband, not really” (Lawrence 212). This same behavior the mother exhibited with William, by being jealous of his female companions, is now being inflicted on Paul. She reinforces the Oedipus complex that is within Paul by suffocating him and in a subtle way asking him to replace her husband. Paul’s relationship with Miriam is reduced to friendship. He has to repress any romantic feelings that he might have for her, so she will not replace his mother.

Later in the novel, Paul does become physically intimate with Miriam, but it is short-lived because Paul will not marry her. This also shows that Paul suffers from a fear of intimacy as he continues to remain emotionally detached from Miriam. Once again, Paul succumbs to the oedipal attachment for his mother. However, Paul does have an affair with a married but separated woman by the name of Clara Dawes. Paul allows himself to have this relationship because he knows that realistically this relationship can never go anywhere. She would never divorce her husband. Therefore, Clara is not a threat to Paul’s oedipal fixation to his mother. There is no danger of her taking his mother’s place. Paul’s mother becomes ill. Since she is bedridden and in pain, Paul gives her morphine. However, he administers an overdose of morphine to her, which leads to her death. While this might be seen as euthanasia, it seems equally likely that killing his mother was Paul’s unconscious way of releasing himself from the Oedipus complex once and for all. Her death leaves Paul devastated and alone. Although much time has passed, Miriam still wants to be with Paul, but he refuses. It is clear that even after his mother’s death, he is still not free from his attachment to her because he chooses to remain alone.

The dysfunctional relationship with his mother is still present in Paul’s life and it appears the Oedipus complex is still intact. By applying psychoanalytic criticism to Sons and Lovers, one can gain a better understanding of the text. What may at first look like unbelievable behaviors can be understood and recognized by using this type of criticism. Psychoanalysis adequately explains the relationships within the Morel family. It also allows us to see the Oedipus complex, which is so blatant throughout Sons and Lovers.







Chris Semansky
In this essay, Semansky considers Lawrence's novel as a Bildungsroman

Sons and Lovers is an example of a Bildungsroman, an autobiographical novel about the early years of a character's life, and that character's emotional and spiritual development. The term derives from German novels of education, such as Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe's Wilhelm Meister's Apprenticeship, which details the experiences of an innocent young man who discovers his purpose and passion in life through a series of adventures and misadventures. Lawrence offers up a rendering of his own first twenty-five years of life in more or less chronological order, showing how Paul Morel must negotiate the pull of family and culture to cultivate his individuality. By writing a novel that is predominantly based on people and times from his own life, Lawrence implicitly invites readers to treat the work as non-fiction. This has often led to confusion, however, as some of the events in Sons and Lovers have no factual basis in Lawrence's life but rather are symbolic dramatisations of his key emotional struggles. The character in the book that has occasioned the most controversy is Miriam Leivers, whom Lawrence based on Jessie Chambers, a friend from his youth. Chambers encouraged Lawrence to rewrite the novel after he had sent her a draft. She was disappointed in the revision as well, because she felt it did not accurately portray their relationship. Chambers attempted to tell the "real" story of her relationship with Lawrence in her own memoir, D. H. Lawrence: A Personal Record. The relationship between Paul and Miriam that Lawrence describes fulfill ls the conventional criteria of the Bildungsroman, which often includes a detailing of the protagonist's love affairs. Critic Brian Finney is even more specific in his description of the genre's criteria in his examination of the novel D. H. Lawrence: Sons and Lovers when he writes, "Normally, there are a least two love affairs, one demeaning, and one exalting." In this scheme, Miriam, of course, represents the "demeaning" relationship. Although she gives herself to Paul sexually, she does so reluctantly, sacrificially, and without passion. Finney describes other criteria of the Bildungsroman: The child protagonist is usually sensitive and is constrained by parents (the father in particular) and the provincial society in which he or she grows up. Made aware of wider intellectual and social horizons by schooling, the child breaks with the constraints of parents and home environment and moves to the city where his or her personal education begins—both in terms of discovering a true vocation and through first experiencing sexual passion. Paul certainly fulfil ls the criterion of being sensitive. Lawrence describes him as "a pale, quiet child" who "was so conscious of what other people felt. “However, the primary constraint on his development is his mother, rather than his father. It is Mrs. Morel that Paul resembles and loves and who forms the psychological barrier that Paul repeatedly comes up against in his drive to know himself. Mrs. Morel, though, is also a facilitator in Paul's development, as she attempts to shield him from her husband's vulgar habits and rescues him from a life in the mines.

Mrs. Morel also attempts to mitigate the effects that the society in which they live have on her children. Bestwood, a thinly-veiled version of Eastwood, where Lawrence was born, is the setting of the novel, and in the opening chapter Lawrence recounts the history of the Midlands countryside, Mrs. Morel's childhood, and the time when she met and married Walter Morel. This narrative strategy of describing the factors that contributed to Paul's conception allows Lawrence to foreground the influence of Paul's environment and family life on the development of his character. Paul was born in "The Bottoms," a six-block area of housing for miners. Life in "The Bottoms" is largely one of ongoing despair. After a day in the mines, the men drink and cavort, while their wives tend to domestic chores such as cooking and cleaning. Mrs. Morel is unlike the other wives in that she comes from a higher social station and had expectations for a better life. In The Dictionary of Literary Biography, Kingsley Widmer describes Mrs. Morel primarily as a destructive figure in Paul and William's lives, writing: Her Protestant ethos of self-denial, sexual repression, impersonal work, disciplined aspiration, guilt, and yearning for conversion-escape, not only defeats her already industrially victimized coal-miner husband but also contributes to the defeat of several of their sons. Paul’s "defeat," however, is only possible because Paul knows the difference between success and failure. Without his mother's sour but demanding presence and her daily disillusionment with the world, Paul might not have developed his love for painting or his desire to transcend his provincial roots. Paul's tortured relationship with his mother actually allows him to develop his own ideas about the meaning of individuation and fulfilment. By having to balance his need to please her with his need to have a healthy sexual and emotional relationship with a woman, Paul arrives at an understanding about himself and what he can and cannot control. This self-understanding, a crucial phase of character development in a Bildungsroman, entails the knowledge that there is less in life that Paul can control than his mother has taught him. Mrs. Morel believes that through hard work, will power, and self-denial one could move up the social ladder and find contentment. What she does not grasp is the extent to which the self-suffers from such desires. Paul discovers through his relationship with Clara that the temperament he has inherited from his mother is destroying him. He comes to realise that attempts to deny passion or to manage the contents of his consciousness are doomed to fail. Critic Helen Baron claims that Lawrence embeds his own understanding about human consciousness not only in Paul’s character but also in the very style of the writing. In her essay, "Disseminated Consciousness in Sons and Lovers," Baron writes that Lawrence tests readers' assumptions that the will can control what the body feels and the mind thinks, claiming Lawrence represents consciousness as something that cannot be contained. "Lawrence's exploration of consciousness," Baron writes, “is so strongly embedded in the narrative tissue that the very words themselves are treated as cells with permeable boundaries. “In addition to Paul's "education" in the ways of love and human consciousness, he also develops his talent for painting, even selling a few paintings. Paul's passion to paint stands in for Lawrence's own passion to write, and, by describing Paul's growth as an artist, Lawrence participates in the literary tradition of the Kunstler roman, which is a novel that describes the early years and growth of an artist. James Joyce's Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man is another such novel that is both Bildungsroman and Kunstler roman
.
The nature of these two sub genres almost demands that they follow the literary tradition of realism, which Lawrence does as well. Realistic novels portray character, setting, and action in are cognisable and plausible way. They are located in a specific time or historical era and in a specific cultural milieu. Authors of realistic novels often rely on the use of dialect and concrete details of everyday life to compose their stories, and they make clear the motivations of characters' actions, emotions, and thoughts. Often, such novels depict the working class. Although written just a decade into the twentieth century when literary modernism was emerging, Sons and Lovers belongs to the tradition of nineteenth-century realism in its attention to detail and locale, and its attempt to accurately depict a way of life. Because it has straddled the border between fiction and fact, Sons and Lovers has become a lightning rod for a number of Lawrence critics seeking insight into the writer's growth as an artist. As a Bildungsroman, the novel offers clues as to how Lawrence viewed his emotional and aesthetic maturation. Like Lawrence, Paul has to overcome the death of his mother and enter a world he has to remake in order to survive. Fighting the impulses to destroy himself, Paul sets his mouth tight and marches off to town to start anew. The year after this novel was published, Lawrence married Frieda Von Richthofen Weekly, the upper-class ex-wife of a university professor; Lawrence had been involved with her since 1912.Like Paul's mother and Lawrence's own mother, Lawrence chose a mate outside of his own class. The two would remain together until Lawrence's death.

Source: Chris Semansky, Critical Essay on ‘Sons and Lovers’, in Novels for Students, Gale, 2003.


Sons and lovers critics summary

Summary #1
“Sons and Lovers: A Psychoanalytic Criticism”
The article entitled “Son and Lovers: A Psychoanalytic Criticism” references not only from one novel but speaks of the similarity between sons and lovers and Hamlet. Reason being, is that the subject of Oedipus complex is present in both novel; this is where a male (usually the son) harbors deep feeling towards his mother. The review is based on the theory of Sigmund Freud and human development. This is then turned and completely linked to behavioral patterns from the main character of the mentioned novels; Oedipus complex. This summarizes Paul’s and William’s behavior to their mother and the troubles that come with the subject. Even after William and Paul both enter into a relationship, they feel conflicted due to their Oedipus complex. They compare the women in their lives to their mother but they both become frustrated and angered; feeling hopeless because their lovers were not their mother.



Summary #2
Chris Semansky
In this essay, Semansky considers Lawrence's novel as a Bildungsroman

In this review, Semansky talks about the author of sons and lovers, D.H Lawrence as being linked to Paul who is a character of his novel. It describes the hardship and difficulty of Paul in his dysfunctional family; a mother who he harbors feelings for and a father he cannot seem to accept along with his three sibling; his older brother, William who is conflicted with Oedipus complex as himself. Semansky reveals his thought of the novel being Bildungsroman, an autobiographical novel. He also feels that Lawrence’s novel was inspired by the early events in his life. Paul who is the narrator, is engrossed in life around his mother that he becomes infatuated with her and seeks to further pull her away from his father grasp.




Questions:
Why do the children hate Walter?
What has his actions caused?
How important is Paul’s relationship with his mother?
Does he regret her views?

The children hate their father because they were forced to witness the abusive marriage of their parents; where Walter always comes home drunk and broke from gambling. They resented him greatly for this. Soon they started to show sympathy towards their mother, who was at the end of their father’s whiplashes. Seeing this, Paul and William decides that they have to protect their dear mother. Paul’s life which is closely related to the author, the reader show a sense of sympathy for Paul because he was present to witness the deterioration of his family along with the loss of his dear mother. Paul’s relationship with his mother became closer after the death of William and he vowed he would protect her. She confided in him after fights wi

Thursday, 14 January 2016

Son and Lovers Summary

Sons and Lovers Summary  

Chapter 1: The early married life of the Morels.
Mrs. Morel, who has been married to Mr. Walter Morel for eight year has three children: William (7), Annie (5) and an unborn child she was thought to expect in September. She always thought that nothing would happen to her until William and the rest of her children grew up. She did not want the third child because she despised the father and now felt like she was completely tied to Walter. Mrs. Morel once loved her husband until 7 months into their marriage when she found unpaid bills in his coat. When she inquired about them she found out that he had not paid off the furniture, had no money and the ownership of the house they were living in all belonged to her ‘beloved’ mother-in-law. Walter is a drunkard and often times the couple have an argument. But on a particular night when Walter returned home, intoxicated, he and Mrs. Morel had a fight and he kick her out of the house. She wandered off into a field of flowers, but returned after some thinking. After her knocking, he woke from his drunken seat and allowed her entry into the house.


Chapter 2: The birth of Paul and another Battle
Feeling guilty for treating his wife so horrible, Walter tries his best to help her out by making her some tea; but she just brushes him off. As she goes into labour, Mrs. Morel calls the midwife, Mrs. Bowen and gives birth to a boy. After another argument with her husband, Mrs. Morels take the newborn and Annie for a walk in the cricket field. There she looked at the baby and was overwhelmed with a feeling of love then decided that she would name him Paul. When Walter comes home drunk one night, the couple have a fight which led to Mrs. Morels getting injured. Walter storms off, collects his belongings and leaves; Mrs. Morel, however, knowing her husband so well, knew that he would be back soon. His luggage was found and he was back home in no time. One night after returning home and seeing that he had no money, Mr. Walters went into his wife’s purse and stole six pence to get a drink. When he was confronted, he refused flatly. This once again led to an argument


Chapter 3: The Casting off of Morels – The taking on of William
When Mr. Morel falls ill, Mrs. Morel gets help from the neighbors in taking care of him. Because of this, he feels spoilt and enjoys the attention of his wife. He begins to want more of her company, but she once again brushes him off and finds solace in her beloved children, rather than him. During the time of Walter’s illness, Arthur was conceived (when Paul was 17 months) and after he was born, he became fond of his father which made Mrs. Morel happy. However as the children grow, more problems arise such as Paul’s sudden turn to depression and ripping the neighbor’s son collar. Although Mrs. Morel sorts out the problem, Walter is also informed of the incident and rushes home in a rage to punish Paul but Mrs. Morel prevents him from doing so. In doing this, the couple fight. After this, Mrs. Morel joins a club and gets William a job to which Walter has a problem because he was hoping that William would mine like himself. William begins to dance then women begin to come to him. Mrs. Morel keeps turning them away which leads to the argument between her son and herself.  After William is offered a job in England, Mrs. Morel becomes depressed. William who is excited, doesn’t notice his mother’s behavior and leaves for England.


DH Lawrence synopsis

DH Lawrence
David Herbert Lawrence, born September 11, 1885, was an Arthur, Journalist, Poet and Playwright. He was born in Eastwood, Nottinghamshire, England, United Kingdom. At the age of the 12, he was the first boy in Nottingham history to win a scholarship to the Nottingham high school. However, seeing as he had trouble making friends, he often got depressed and would fall ill; this in effect took its toll on his studies. In the end, after graduating in 1901, he looked back at his childhood and said “If I think of my childhood, it is always as if there was a sort of inner darkness, like the gloss coal in which we moved and had our being”. Later in his life, he attend the University College of Nottingham.

     He was best known for his infamous novel “Lady Chatterley’s Lover” which was banned in the United States for it high sexual contents until 1959. He was then regarded as one of the most influential writer of the 20th Century. Lawrence was from a family built up of a middle class financially ruined mother and a common miner father, Arthur John Lawrence. His mother, Lydia Lawrence, was a well-educated woman and she taught Lawrence what she knew about literature and books. There he rose with a liking for books and writing. He wrote “The White Peacock & The trespasser (1911&1912)”, “Sons and Lovers (1913), “The Rainbow’ &’Women in Love (1920)” and “The Lady Chatterley’s Lover &Final Works (1928)”.

     DH Lawrence was famous for many more works which include plays and poems. He went to France to continue his work before he succumbed to tuberculosis and died March 2, 1930 at the age of 44. His writing, he considered was an attempt to challenge and expose what he saw as the constructive and oppressive cultural norms of western culture. He even stated “If there weren’t so many lies in the world… I wouldn’t write at all”.